The Asterisk

The other day I was looking at my shampoo bottle. 80% stronger hair immediately it promised! 80% stronger, can you believe it? Can this be real? Wouldn’t it be great if we could pump some goop out of a bottle, add a little water, slather it on our hair, wait a couple of minutes, rinse it all off and pow! It’s stronger!! What if we could do that with our heart, emotions, muscles, anything?? Wouldn’t that be awesome?? I would LOVE to be able to slather some goop on my heart and it is stronger. 80% stronger! Wow, that’s a promise.

Well, as I was coming back from fantasyland . . . I saw it! Oh my goodness, I saw it! It was the dreaded Asterisk. The little star thing that says. . . “My marketing people totally lied to you and there is more information!” So, I start searching the bottle for the cross reference that the asterisk is referring to. I knew 80% immediate was too good to be true, but why, why does it have to be so misleading??? I found it. I found the disclaimer. It said IF you use with the special conditioner!! What?? Another step?? UGH! Why God, why?? Why must we take another step? Isn’t the slather enough?? I waited the recommended 1-2 minutes!! Have mercy on me! If I go to the store is the special conditioner going to have another little asterisk?? Am I going to be led to a whole family of special products?? Do you see them lined up on my bathroom counter? The shampoo, conditioner, gel, mouse, shiny spray, finishing spray, hold like cement spray, soft hold spray, the list could go on forever!! All these little black bottles lined up by the sink each promising if I just do ONE more step I will finally get to the coveted 80% stronger IMMEDIATELY! “One more, it chants, one more. You can do it. Buy another product.”

Darn that little asterisk. Why can’t we just say what we mean? “Buy all our products because we want you to!” No gimmicks, no promises, just plain old-fashioned honesty!! What a refreshing change that would be!