Monday, December 28, 2009

Hagar Moments. . . .

Tonight, I am going out on a limb. A month or so ago, I was in Little Group (that’s Ashley’s name for Family Small Group from Church) and we are studying the Bible. In order. . . so, we’ve been meeting for a year and half and we are at Genesis 16. . . we plan on being together for a LONG time!!! Hee hee Good thing we LOVE our Little Group!!!

First, let me back up a little and refresh our memories of Genesis 15 . . . This is where God tells Abram that he is going to be the father of many nations. Now, don’t forget that Abram is not a spring chicken and neither is his wife, Sarai. They’ve been hanging out for quite a while and so far, no kids. Bummer for them because kids are awesome!! Well, Abram is pretty excited about this kid idea so he shares with his wife, Sarai. (Disclaimer—I’m not a biblical scholar, this is my blog and my deep thoughts. . . ) Well, Sarai’s looking around and she says, “Uh, honey, I’m kinda old, don’t really see me having any kids.” So (this is where Genesis 16 comes in), she comes up with a plan!! Gotta love it when we come up with plans!! Sarai looks at her husband and says, “Hey, how about you have a kid with my servant Hagar!” Sarai can’t have kids, Hagar can. The kid is still Abram’s either way. God’s word is fulfilled. Seems logical enough. Must be God’s will!! (How many times have I said that in my life???)

Well, unfortunately, once the pregnancy actually happens, then the 2 women aren’t quite as buddy buddy as they once were. Throw in a little pregnancy hormones, jealousy and hatred, we can probably assume, this was not the prettiest picture. Well, push came to shove, Hagar’s out, Sarai’s a little miffed, and Abram’s going, “Hello, God! What’s up here?? You said I was going to have a son, this seemed soooo logical!!”

In the end, in Genesis 17, God gets a little more specific and tells Abram straight out, “Dude, listen to me! I told you I was giving you a son, I am going to do it, here is when and I want you to name him Isaac!”

(Ok, I might be paraphrasing a little, so if you would really like to dive into this deeper, please grab your Bible and check it out for yourself. Genesis 15-17, I prefer NIV, but whatever version you can read AND comprehend go for it!)

Well, after we read and talked about this a little bit, the question came up. . . What are some of our Hagar Moments?? God has made us promises in our lives. A Hagar Moment (definition stolen from my small group leader) is when we manipulate our circumstances and make them “fit” into “God’s will” for our lives, instead of waiting on God to fulfill his promises!!

WOW!!! How many Hagar Moments do I have??? How many times have I not waited on God to reveal the next step? Do I do this often?? It really got me thinking. This conversation was pushing 2 months ago and I’m still reading it, so yes, it’s been on my heart A LOT!!! My Hagar Moments. . . Honestly, I’m not actually going to list them here, they are kinda private and some are really embarrassing, but the reality is some are life changing.

My life today would not look like it does if it weren’t for my Hagar Moments. That original Hagar Moment gave Abram Ishmael, even though Ishmael was not the chosen son, he was still a son of Abram. That decision totally changed their lives. Just like some of my Hagar Moments have changed my life. (I don’t regret any of my life so far, however, I do know that there are many times I have strayed off of God’s path!!) Not all of them have been life changing. Some were simple disobedience. Sometimes, I misunderstand the “signs” given to me. A lot of the time I’m simply impatient with God’s timing. I want it done in MY time, not HIS!!

Have a blessed night!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Brokenness and Menu Choices

On the way to work, I was on the phone. (Yes, I’m one of those that talk on the phone all the way to work. Everyday! I know, I know. . . one more thing to pray for me about.) Anyway, back to the original topic, me on the phone. Well, my friend was talking about how he always orders the same thing every time he goes out to eat, that he’s leery of trying anything new. I casually mention how I’ve been broke (financially) for so long that when I do go out to eat I tend to order a “sure thing”. You know, something that you know you like because it cost quite a bit of money and you don’t know when you’ll be able to afford to go out again so you don’t want to try anything new because you’d hate to waste the money on food you don’t know if you will like.

Then, it was like the heavens parted and I saw things completely differently. What if we do that in other areas of our life? Not just going out to eat, but movie choices, clothing choices, friendship choices, job choices, you know everything?? How many times have I held back or settled because I was scared that the resources would not replenish? I’m not talking about being irresponsible and throwing away money to fill some random hole. (That’s a whole blog entry in itself.) I’m talking about how often and how many areas have I settled for familiar when there are so many other choices? I may not even like the choices. Some, I may never have a desire to try, but what about the rest?

I found out that I like sushi . . . who knew?? I never would have tried it without my sister saying we’d split it. If I didn’t like it, I could order something off the “normal” menu. Options . . . wow! I could have do-overs.

What are some of the other options on the menu that I’ve never even considered because of my brokenness?? What has my past brokenness kept me from pursuing? Are there “sure thing” situations that are hindering my pursuit of whatever? Today, I’m not as broken as I once was. Today, there is some restoration. Today, I trust that the resources will replenish. Today, I’d like to try something new from the menu.

Maybe, I’ll hate it, maybe I’ll love it. Who knows, in the end, I may find out that the “sure thing” is my favorite . . . but doesn’t my favorite want to actually be the favorite, not just the only one I tried?

Well, I need to get ready for dance class . . . my second taste from the menu (since timing made Sushi first).